Anonymous asked: most disastrous drunken escapade. go.

okay. it’s a long one.

So one day I’m walking from a friend’s house to another friend’s house to smoke a few blunts. yes, i used to smoke weed. so i’m walking across this street and the light turns green and i’m jogging slightly to cross, when this guy in a van hits me at about 25mph. i fly into the air and onto the sidewalk. after a moment, i checked to see if my body was still working, then i got up and waited for the driver to get out of his car. he gets out and he’s freaked so i let him go and i resume my walk with a bloody scrape on my arm and a bad leg. 

so i get to my friend’s house, i patch my arm up and i smoke a blunt to the face. it was a bad day and i wanted to get drunk so we went to this party, where i drank to my hearts content. while there, i’m dancing a bit on a fractured fibula and telling people the story that had happened only a few hours prior. at one point, i went to make out with a girl but she was drunk and her breath made me throw up all over the floor. most people i came with threw up on the floor too. i went to bed at a friend’s a few blocks away and woke up with a swollen leg. 

the end.